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Your Will is my Destiny

Śrīvās Ṭhākur’s son describes the eternal soul’s relationship with the Supreme Lord.

This post is a continuation of Śoka-śātanaThe Remedy for Grief, by Śrīla Bhakti Vinod Ṭhākur.

Śoka-śātana

The Remedy for Grief

Part 4

Song 7

gorāchā̐dera ājñā peye gṛha-vāsi-gaṇa
mṛta sute aṅganete āne tata-kṣaṇa [1]

Receiving Gorāchā̐d’s permission, the family members then brought the dead child into the courtyard.

kali-mala-hāri gorā jijñāse takhana
śrīvāse chhāḍiyā, śiśu, yāo ki kāraṇa? [2]

Gorā, the purifier of the Age of Kali, then asked, “My child, why are you leaving Śrīvās and going away?”

mṛta-śiśu-mukhe jīva kare nivedana
loka-śikṣā lāgi’ prabhu tava ācharaṇa [3]

Through the mouth of the dead child, the soul replied, “O Lord, You act to teach the world.

tumi ta’ parama-tattva ananta advaya
parā-śakti tomāra abhinna tattva haya [4]

“You are the Supreme Being, infinite and non-dual. Your divine energy is nondifferent from You.

sei parā-śakti tridhā haiyā prakāśa
tava ichchhā-mata karāya tomāra vilāsa [5]

“Your divine energy manifests in three ways, and according to Your will, it arranges Your Pastimes.

chich-chakti-svarūpe nitya-līlā prakāśiyā
tomāre ānanda dena hlādinī ha-iyā [6]

“In the form of Your spiritual energy, the hlādinī-śakti, it manifests Your eternal Pastimes and gives You pleasure.

jīva-śakti hañā tava chit-kiraṇa-chaye
taṭastha-svabhāve jīva-gaṇe prakaṭaye [7]

“As the jīva-śakti, it manifests the souls, the rays of spirit that are marginal in nature.

māyā-śakti hañā kare prapañcha-sṛjana
bahirmukha jīve tāhe karaya bandhana [8]

“As the māyā-śakti, it creates the material world and binds there the souls who are averse to You.”

bhakati-vinoda bale aparādha-phale
bahirmukha haye āchhi prapañcha-kavale [9]

Bhakti Vinod says, “As a result of my offences, I am averse to the Lord and caught in the clutches of material existence.”

Song 8

pūrṇa-chid-ānanda tumi tomāra chit-kaṇa āmi
svabhāvataḥ āmi tuyā dāsa
parama svatantra tumi tuyā paratantra āmi
tuyā pada chhāḍi’ sarva-nāśa [1]

“You are the embodiment of complete spiritual joy, and I am a particle of Your spiritual energy. By nature, I am Your servant. You are completely independent, and I am dependent on You. Leaving Your feet, I have become utterly ruined.

svatantra haye yakhana māyā prati kainu mana
sva-svabhāva chhāḍila āmāya
prapañche māyāra bandhe paḍinu karmera dhandhe
karma-chakre āmāre phelāya [2]

“When I became independent and inclined towards māyā, my true nature abandoned me. I fell into the bondage of māyā and the bewilderment of karma in the material world; the cycle of karma entangled me.

māyā tava ichchhā-mate bā̐dhe more e jagate
adṛṣṭa nirbandha lauha-kare
sei ta’ nirbandha more āne śrīvāsera ghare
putra-rūpe mālinī-jaṭhare [3]

“According to Your will, māyā has bound me in this world with the iron chains of fate, and that fate has brought me to the house of Śrīvās as a son from the womb of Mālinī.

se nirbandha punarāya more ebe laye yāya
āmi ta’ thākite nāri āra
tava ichchhā suprabala mora ichchhā sudurbala
āmi jīva akiñchana chhāra [4]

“Now again, that fate is taking me away. I cannot remain any longer. Your will is all-powerful, and my will is extremely weak. I am just a poor, insignificant soul.

yathāya pāṭhāo tumi avaśya yāiba āmi
kāra kebā putra pati pitā
jaḍera sambandha saba tāhā nāhi satya-lava
tumi jīvera nitya pālayitā [5]

“I will certainly go wherever You send me. Who is anyone’s son, husband, or father? These are all material relationships. There is not even a tinge of truth in them. You are the eternal maintainer of the soul.

saṁyoge viyoge yini sukha-duḥkha mane gaṇi
tava pade chhāḍena āśraya
māyāra gardabha haye majena saṁsāra laye
bhakti-vinodera sei bhaya [6]

“Those who identify with the happiness and sadness of mundane union and separation reject the shelter of Your feet. They turn into asses of māyā and absorb themselves in material existence.” This is the fear of Bhakti Vinod.

Song 9

bā̐dhila māyā ye dina hate
avidyā-moha-ḍore
aneka janma labhinu āmi
phirinu māyā-ghore [1]

“Since the day māyā bound me with the ropes of ignorance and delusion, I have taken many births and wandered in māyā’s darkness.

deva dānava mānava paśu
pataṅga kīṭa haye
svarge narake bhū-tale phiri
anitya āśā laye [2]

“Having been a god, demon, human, animal, insect, and worm, I am have wandered throughout heaven, hell, and earth with desires for the impermanent.

nā jāni kibā sukṛti-bale
śrīvāsa-suta hainu
nadīyā-dhāme charaṇa tava
daraśa paraśa kainu [3]

“I do not know by what good fortune I have become the son of Śrīvās and been able to see and touch Your feet in the land of Nadia.

sakala bāre maraṇa-kāle
aneka duḥkha pāi
tuyā prasaṅge parama sukhe
e-bāra chale yāi [4]

“I suffer greatly every time at the moment of death, but because of Your presence, I depart this time with great joy.

ichchhāya tora janama yadi
ābāra haya, hari!
charaṇe tava prema-bhakati
thāke, minati kari [5]

“If by Your will, I am to be born again, O Lord, then I pray only that I may have love and devotion to Your feet.”

yakhana śiśu nīraba bhela
dekhiyā prabhura līlā
śrīvāsa-goṣṭhī tyajiyā śoka
ānanda-magaṇa bhelā [6]

When the child fell silent, Śrīvās’ family, having seen this Pastime of the Lord, give up their grief and became overwhelmed with joy.

gaura-charita amṛta-dhārā
karite karite pāna
bhakti-vinoda śrīvāse māge
yāya yena mora prāṇa [7]

Bhakti Vinod begs Śrīvās, “May I drink these streams of the nectar from Gaura’s Pastimes as my life passes away.”

Śoka-śātana: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

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