Srila Bhakti Raksak Sridhar Dev-Goswami Maharaj gives deeper understanding of the six loving exchanges.
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We can increase our attraction and love for a sadhu by giving him raw items and by accepting his prasadam—to give and to take. To give items to be utilised by him, and to accept whatever is necessary for ourselves, but nothing new.
We won’t try to take anything new, but we will wish only for something which has been used by the Guru and Vaishnavas, whether it be a garland, clothes, decorations, or whatever. We shall try to live by the remnants of the Vaishnavas. We shall present new things to the sadhus, and we shall try to live by their remnants.
Guhyam akhyati—I should reveal my innermost feelings to the sadhu: “From my innermost heart I feel these many particular things within me. Are these feelings good or bad? And if bad, what is the remedy?” We shall place our inner heart before him so he may examine and proceed accordingly.
Prichchhati—we shall enquire from the sadhu, “What is the secret of your holy life? Please tell me and I shall try to follow that example in order to get out of my present circumstances. In your case how did you gain relief?” We shall try to collect the secrets of success of life from a sadhu. Bhunkte bhojayate chaiva—we shall feed him, and accept his prasadam.
If we follow the above guidelines we shall come closer to a person. If we deal in these ways with a bad man we shall become bad, and with a good man we shall become good. There are two types of water: filtered and filthy. Filthy water can be purified. The higher sadhus can take evil thoughts from others without becoming contaminated. In their hearts resides Govinda. Govinda is infinite and He can consume any quantity of filthy things, therefore their hearts cannot be contaminated.
(Excerpt from Holy Engagement)
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The six loving exchanges
dadati pratigrihnati guhyam akhyati prichchhati
bhunkte bhojayate chaiva shad-vidham priti-laksanam
“Offering gifts in charity, accepting charitable gifts, revealing one’s mind in confidence, enquiring confidentially, accepting prasadam, and offering prasadam are the six symptoms of love shared by one devotee and another.”
(Upadeshamrita: 4)