Srila-Sridhar-Maharaj-Winter

Die to Live

Continuing our present­a­tion of the upcom­ing release Sharanagati, in this song Srila Bhakti Vinod Thakur reveals the internal depth of true surrender to the Lord. Srila Bhakti Raksak Sridhar Dev-Goswami Maharaj used the last line of this song as a scriptural reference for his favourite citation of Hegel.

Sharanagati

Song Twelve

‘ahaṁ’-‘mama’-śabda arthe yāhā kichhu haya
arpilu̐ tomāra pade ohe dayā-maya!
[1]

‘aham’–‘I’; ‘mama’–‘mine’; śabda–of the words; arthe–by the meaning; yāhā–which; kichhu–anything; haya–happens; arpilu̐–I offered; tomāra–Your; pade–at the feet; ohe–oh!; dayā–mercy; maya–made of. [1]

(1) O merciful Lord! I have surrendered all that is meant by the words ‘I’ and ‘mine’ at Your feet.

Sri Laghu-chandrika-bhashya

(1) ‘ahaṁ’ ‘mama’-śabda arthe: “Meant by the words ‘I’ and ‘mine’.” Sri Jamun Acharya has explained this in his Sri Stotra-ratna (49):

vapur-ādiṣu yo ’pi ko ’pi vā
guṇato ’sāni yathā-tathā-vidhaḥ
tad ahaṁ tava pāda-padmayor
aham adyaiva mayā samarpitaḥ

“O Lord, whatever I possess in terms of this body and its paraphernalia and whatever character I have acquired through the modes of nature—this whole sense of ego—I offer at Your lotus feet today.”


‘āmāra’ āmi ta’ nātha! nā rahinu āra
ekhana ha-inu āmi kevala tomāra
[2]

‘āmāra’–‘my’; āmi–I; ta’–certainly; nātha!–O Lord!; nā–does not; rahinu–I remained; āra–more; ekhana–now; ha-inu–became; āmi–I; kevala–only; tomāra–Yours. [2]

(2) O Lord! I no longer remain ‘mine’. I have now become Yours alone.


‘āmi’-śabde dehī jīva ahaṁtā chhāḍila
tvadīyābhimāna āji hṛdaye paśila
[3]

‘āmi’–‘I’; śabde–by the word; dehī–animator of the material body; jīva–the life, the soul; ahaṁtā–the conception of ‘I’, false egotism; chhāḍila–abandoned; tvadīya–Your own; abhimāna–ego; āji–today; hṛdaye–in the heart; paśila (praveśa karila)–entered. [3]

(3) I now understand that the word ‘I’ means the jiva who animates the material body and have thus abandoned all false egotism. Today the ego of being ‘Your own’ has entered my heart.

(3) tvadīyābhimāna: “The ego of being ‘Your own’.” This means the ego of being Your (the Lord’s) faithfully devoted follower (anu­gata-jan).


āmāra sarvasva, deha, geha, anuchara
bhāi, bandhu, dārā, suta, dravya, dvāra, ghara
[4]
se saba ha-ila tava, āmi ha-inu dāsa
tomāra gṛhete ebe āmi kari vāsa
[5]

āmāra–my; sarvasva–the whole of my wealth; deha–body; geha–home; anuchara–servants; bhāi–brothers; bandhu–friends and relatives; dārā–wife; suta–children; dravya–possessions; dvāra–door; ghara–house; se–them; saba–all; ha-ila–became; tava–Yours; āmi–I; ha-inu–became; dāsa–servant; tomāra–Your; gṛhete–in Your house; ebe–now; āmi–I; kari–do; vāsa–residence. [4–5]

(4–5) Everything I considered mine­—my body, home, servants, brothers, friends, wife, children, personal belongings, and household—has become Yours. I have become Your servant and I now reside in Your house.


tumi gṛha-svāmī, āmi sevaka tomāra
tomāra sukhete cheṣṭā ekhana āmāra
[6]

tumi–You; gṛha–of the house; svāmī–the master; āmi–I; sevaka–servant; tomāra–Your; tomāra–Your; sukhete–for Your pleasure; cheṣṭā–endeavours; ekhana–now; āmāra–my. [6]

(6) You are the master of the house and I am Your servant. All my endeavours are now for Your satisfaction.


sthūla-liṅga-dehe mora sukṛta duṣkṛta
āra mora nāhe, prabhu! āmi ta’ niṣkṛta
[7]

sthūla–gross; liṅga–subtle; dehe–with the bodies; mora–my; sukṛta–good deeds; duṣkṛta–bad deeds; āra–any more; mora–mine; nāhe–not; prabhu!–O Lord!; āmi–I; ta’–certainly; niṣkṛta–free, liberated. [7]

(7) Whatever good or bad deeds are performed by my gross and subtle bodies are no longer mine, O Lord! I am free.

(7) sukṛta duṣkṛta: “Good or bad deeds.” The state of being beyond the scope of both good and bad actions and reactions is described in Sri Mundaka Upanishad (3.1.3):

yadā paśyaḥ paśyate rukma-varṇaṁ
kartāram īśaṁ puruṣaṁ brahma-yonim
tadā vidvān puṇya-pāpe vidhūya
nirañjanaḥ paramaṁ sāmyam upaiti

“When a jiva sees the golden Lord, who is the supreme controller and the source of Brahma, they become wise, free from the reactions of both pious and impious activities­, and pure, and they obtain supreme equanimity.”


tomāra ichchhāya mora ichchhā miśāila
bhakati-vinoda āja āpane bhulila
[8]

tomāra–Your; ichchhāya–with desire; mora–my; ichchhā–desire; miśāila–mixed; bhakati-vinoda–Bhakti Vinod; āja–today; āpane–himself; bhulila–forgot. [8]

(8) My desires have merged with Your desires. Today, Bhakti Vinod has forgotten himself.


Srila Bhakti Raksak Sridhar Dev-Goswami Maharaj explains:

(excerpted from Sermons of the Guardian of Devotion Volume Four)

So what is service proper? Hegel’s philosophy is “Die to Live” dissolve your ego as it is at present. Dissolve it mercilessly: die. Die means to dissolve, mercilessly. Throw yourself into the fire and you will come out with a bright self. Learn to die as you are: that mental concocted body, that concocted energy. Take the name of the Lord and die. Bhakativinoda aja apane bhulila. Forget yourself as you are at present and you will find your proper self there that does not die. Death is ordained for our existence so give to the death that part of you that is ordained to die, and the eternal part of you will remain.

 

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