Conclusion of this series of questions and answers about Śrī Hari-nām with Śrīla Bhakti Sundar Govinda Dev-Goswāmī Mahārāj.
Devotee: We want to chant Śuddha-nām, but only Nām-aparādh is coming. What will be the benefit for us if we continue chanting Nām-aparādh?
Śrīla Govinda Mahārāj: We are trying to properly chant Śuddha-nām, and Nām-aparādh is coming, but while doing that, Śuddha-nām must come once, and Śuddha-nām will be merciful to us. Śuddha-nām will think, “Oh, he needs this, but cannot do it. He wants to do it, but cannot do it. So, I will go there. He is trying heart and soul, but he cannot do it. I shall help him.” In this way, Śuddha-nām will come Himself, and Śuddha-nām will dance on his tongue; and that tongue must be transcendental.
Devotee: Sometimes I think, why are we doing japa if we are not chanting Śuddha-nām?
Śrīla Govinda Mahārāj: Through japa, we are remembering Kṛṣṇa and developing some attachment to Kṛṣṇa; and Kṛṣṇa and Kṛṣṇa-nām are the same. When I am chanting Kṛṣṇa-nām, “Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa”, attachment is coming for Kṛṣṇa, and Kṛṣṇa must once come to me in the form of His Name.
Śuddha-nām will come through sādhu-saṅga. First sādhu-saṅga, and then sevonmukhe hi jihvādau. This śloka is very important for explaining that:
ataḥ śrī-kṛṣṇa-nāmādi na bhaved grāhyam indriyaiḥ
sevonmukhe hi jihvādau svayam eva sphuraty adaḥ
(Śrī Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu, 1.2.234)
[“Although Kṛṣṇa’s Name, Form, Qualities, and Pastimes cannot be grasped by the material senses, they manifest themselves on the tongue and to the other senses according to one’s service attitude.”]
If somebody can understand this, he can understand everything about how it is possible. Then he will first search for the sādhu who is chanting Kṛṣṇa-nām. Association with saints is necessary—through that association we will develop our mood of service to Kṛṣṇa.
Devotee: Sometimes I think, Śrīla Guru Mahārāj’s [Śrīla Bhakti Rakṣak Śrīdhar Dev-Goswāmī Mahārāj’s] nature is very strict and my nature is very bad, so he is not accepting me and I am not really getting sādhu-saṅga. Therefore, I think I am not a śiṣya, disciple, of Guru Mahārāj. He is giving his mercy, but I am not accepting it, so he is disgusted and does not want me as a śiṣya.
Śrīla Govinda Mahārāj: Śrīla Guru Mahārāj does not have any right to reject someone. If Guru Mahārāj accepted me once, in any way, through Hari-nām, through dīkṣā, or through sannyās— if he accepted me in any way, then he must look after me, and today or tomorrow, some result must come to me. This type of faith is necessary.
Śrīla Bhakti Vinod Ṭhākur said,
mārabi rākhabi yo ichchha tohārā
nitya-dāse prati tuyā adhikārā
[You may kill me or protect me as You wish. You have full authority over Your eternal servant.]
rakṣā karabi tuhū̐ niśchaya jāni
pāna karabū hāma yāmuna-pāni
[Knowing that You will certainly protect me, I will drink the water of the Yamunā (regardless of the fact that it is poisoned by the serpent Kālīya).]
Our faith is the most valuable thing. Faith is necessary. If Guru Mahārāj accepted me, if he accepted me in any way, then I must get that in the future. I have no doubt. It may come today or tomorrow, but it must come. He cannot throw me out. If I commit many offences or commit Vaiṣṇava-aparādh, then he will check himself. But when that is removed, the sun will shine, just as when clouds clear from the sky. We must keep this type of faith in our heart, and we must be benefitted by that. I feel this. I am not only telling this by word or by mouth: I feel it.